I've been writing a lot recently about what an amazing big bro Colt has been, and he has. He's been wonderful and has been a big help around the house. But, hes also having some behavior issues. It seems as though THE DAY he turned three he hit "terrible twos". When hes good he's so so good but when hes bad hes so so bad. Colton has been an extremely well behaved, laid back, sweet natured kid. Oh gosh, how bias does that sound!?!?! But really he has! :) We've been very lucky with his behavior and the wayhe listens and follows directions. We know he has it in him!!! We, of course, see his sweet loving behavior during the day a lot but after an all out war, sometimes it's hard to remember how kind he was to his brother or how he made us laugh earlier in the day. I've been told two is nothing and three is the hardest age. I've also been told that the toddler/child years are nothing compared to what the teenage years bring. Yikes!
I'm sure Colts behavior is nothing out of the ordinary for his age. I have a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies at the elementary age. I'm aware of egocentric behavior. I understand Colton wants what he wants when he wants it and he doesn't understand why he may not get his way but OH MY GOODNESS! The fits he throws when things don't go just his way are fierce! He's angry, aggressive, mean and physical. I know a lot has changed around here in the last few months and I know that this probably has a big part in it. Zak and I are trying everything to work with him, teach him, and not loose our minds! There might even be a little bit of bribing going on. Okay okay, there's a lot of bribing going on. So much that I'm not proud of it. I bribe him with candy or treats to do just about everything I'm too tired to fight him on; getting dressed, taking a picture, getting in the car, helping me do something, the list could go on and on. I'll be the first to admit this is not helping the behavior because now he thinks that everything he does deserves a reward or treat. A month or so back we were at Don Julios for dinner. Colt had to potty so I took him into the restroom. He was told if he pottied he'd be able to have a candy as we left the restaurant. He did not potty so as we walked out of the restroom he asked about the candy. I told him he would have to potty to get the candy and he stopped dead in his tracks, right next to a large table of people, in a very crowded restaurant and screamed, at the top of his lungs, " "I WANT MY CANDYYYYYYY!" I was mortified. He wouldn't budge. It would have been easy to give him the candy, but I didn't. I stood my ground and later in the meal he did use the potty. Sometimes though it's hard to stand your ground, specially with a newborn at home who's demanding all your attention. I know consistency is the key but its so hard to be consistent!
There have been a few days that I have felt so defeated, so overwhelmed and so lost at what to do and how to handle it all. When Colt gets upset with us he will tell us, "Go to work!" This started with daddy because when daddy would get upset with him he'd just want him to go away and he started saying, "Go to work!" Recently, he has started telling me this as well. One night last week, after a very very long trying day, he told me "Mommy go to work!" I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, "I AM at work and I CAN'T go away!" I knew, and so did Zak, that it was time for mommy to get out of the house. Alone! It seems like each day things get a little worse and a little harder. Zak and I have tried everything to disciple Colton. We've tried spanking, time out, raising our voice, ignoring and on and on and on. None of which work. We are learning the more upset we get with him the worse the situation gets so we try really hard to keep our cool, which is near impossible most times. One thing that has worked is taking away toys. In fact, the top of our kitchen cabinets were lined with toys this afternoon. However, this tactic won't help when were out in about. Luckily, we haven't had too many meltdowns in public. However, there have been a few and I do find myself saying a quick prayer for patience and good behavior before we head out on outings.
Like I said before I know this is a phase, I know his behavior isn't anything too out of the ordinary. I know his world has been rocked with our new addition and I know we all need to be patient. I know all kids go through this in some way, shape, or form but sometimes I look at him and think "What have we done wrong? Why are you acting like this? I DO NOT KNOW YOU!"
So, followers, mommies, anyone...I'd love to know how you survived this "phase" of life. I'm ready for my sweet little man to come back! What kind of discipline did you use. Can you recommend any books? Any funny stories that might not have been funny at the time but you can look back on and laugh at now?